Ucky hi wee loverz

Ridght wdc everyone jaysis its been ages!!!!!!! Have been to make a coner of the world, but never undertood that aying becaue the world is round! #spherical

So liverpool was amaz, went shappin then got drunk and boked in a urinal and on myself! I then went on to ‘werk’ behind the bar aka a shat for u and 4 for me llfllfllf #crunk

Plans for the big 22 and wan and wan! 22 being the age ill be, wan being the age scream and shout will be and wan being the age no surrender will be # fleg

So im have a huge surprise bday bad on saturday the 23 with is ironic as ill be 22! Or is a. Onincidence who the fuck cares #fleg

Cant wait to see ml even though she is fake snoring beside me atm, and can wait to see big titz mccrory and tara and ben torr and everyone buh buh buh buzzzzin!

Funniest momento of the year happend todat 20.11.2013 ml was showing my mam a pic cp mug and mam scrolled over to see a pic of a girl with jizz all overher face #meme #majorlolz mam was like ohh ill just give this back!!!!!

Still lololololing llflllflllfllf gegwgrgrgrgegegegege #geg

Newword i learnt to spell today as nearly let me win a spelling comp its ‘kenya’ thats were im origionall from but because ive ben in ireland imnow light skined!

Right wee loves see ye soone!

Keep it real x

uck sure a wee trip to leeds

well lads im back, well ive been back a week like, from cpr which i can now releave stood for cp reunion with my lovely cp. we are actually cp’s btw cause its fb official so like can it get anymore official? #-7tcpr

anyway leeds was amazzz, we surprised gavin, well ml did but thats another story llfllfllfllf

we ate in rymond blanks resturant and it was well fit, though i tweeted him for some ffeedsback on the menu etc and the bucking b**tard never replied, but like it was a shower of civilness, and everyone learnt to say llfllfllfllf which actually takes alot of skill like seriously.

met a lot of ivil people especially this amazing drag queen, i was admireing his tuck all night, it was like an actuall vajjjj, camble toe and everything!!! like how is that possible.

currently on route to liverpool now to see petite closet, for a meeting of the great blog mins, though like lbfr my blog is better. we are going to f sh1te up in the pool, we wont even add chlorine cause we are made bastardeos yeoooo

shout out the natasha mccrory, as our new fave show is london irish, which is the furthest thing from a shower o shite, in fact its amaz, i jus want to bounce on its balls all day long #packy

i also cried at the finale of 6degrees, but thats another story, wait that basicly the whol  story llfllfllflllfllfllf.

bew word i have leant to spell thus week, is bangerz, which is also the title of mylie cyrus’ new album, its amazing #FUCKINBANGERZ

Keep it real x

Jaysus thats parfil

So really this entry is all abut the next few entrys that will happen in the future of blogging.

But before i forget a big shout out to one of my most lyal fans erin, what up?!

So next weekend i am actually going on a top secret misson know as #cpr. Only 30 or 40 people actually knows what it involves so. Itswhile secret!!!! Its going to be eperic so watch this space for updates and pic. Its going to bemore scandleous than the time britney shaved her head, or the the time i met titty von tramp in the union (no forgettin sally)!!

Following this going on a wee trup north to see my gurl petit closet for a few days. Hopefully she will come out of her petit closet for a wee while and we can hit up garlands, but sure this is it’! Havnt seen in in ages so it should be parfil craic! Its going to be more scandleous than the time obama talked about healthcare or some shiiiite, or the time tash through the wooden badger out the. Window!!

Following this peeps taken a wee jont home to see the fam and friends. Innovember. My cp is throwing me a surprise -party. But dont tell heri know that cause lbfr its a surprise, and jaysus it will be parfil.

For all my international readers such a britney, kesha and jerry adams, jaysus is they new word ive learnt to spell. It mean jesus whih is ur man from thon book. Look it up.

In othr news america has gone to shite for what i believe to be a computer virus??? Need clarification on that though from my girls j and k. And im not ‘just kidding’ LLLLLLFFFFFFFF

RIGHTSURE ILL SEE Y’ALL LATER.

KEEP IT REAL!

Fffs

As all my friends will know bi-weekly i go on a diet. Now iknow what ur thinking `bi` doesnt exist LLf #seriously

Well nw im doing fffs which means fit for feck sake!! And im going to make it last this time hopefully!? If not well sure this is it!

Im fed up looking like sat and wish to look more like britney pre breakdown but with the sas of the breakdown if u get me

Speakin of britney her new song #workbitch is wat has inspired fffs LLF its a while catchy tune and ike lbfr everyone works so can relate to it unless ur bft where u get `sick` at the drop of a cats sneeze and not lift a finger except to pick up an sti. #md

So yeah thats a wee update on my life llf, new word ive learnt to spelt is llf, and yes that is a word even  keth lemon, or keth cock aau van as i like to call him says so.

Keep it real folks

uck sure a wee trip home love

uck hiya loves, ino its been a while but lbfr ive been busy.

So just back in english after a wee trip home to see my friends such as #cp2, BTM,nerve,  certern the rednecks and my boyfriend ollie!! I really wanted to see my friend vic also but she wasnt there :(, havnt seen her in yunks!!! Also seen wee orla doyle from first she uni, she was while craic hasnt changed a bit, still has while nice eyebrows!

was a very civil few days with loots of catching up to be had as well as booking up pure vodka on the kremlin staircae, but lbfr kremlin overcharge of shite quality drink that they probs bought forking shite out o some old fat gay sugar daddy. when lead (spelt like this to annoy #CP2) (also spelt like this cause I cant spell) to the thought that maybe kremlin is like the real kremlin and actually have gays and are slowly poisining the gay population of belfast with shite drink so that the slowly die a wee death sure. just a thought, but like most of my thoughts they are usually accurate once you can desifer them.

took a wee laughing fit today btw for no reaon that i can remember, make #cp2 spit ‘yogart’ all over her self but sure wats she like. ALSO #cp2 dressed up as cookie from nordie shire. Cookies my favcoarate character and is while funny and a lesbian. This is an odd choice of favorate charater for a gay person, cause gays are the natural enemy of lesbians which makes sense like cause lbfr.

new word today that i learnt to spell was Quay again cause I forgot after the last time.

Sure speak soon.

Keep it real!

racism

I have come to the conclusion that Yes we can be in fact racist to animal. Like Lets Be Real, we are the human race, so like there’s like the cat race or the chicken race, is stealing a chickens eggs racist? if so then i’m a racist in that sense. Like all other speacies are minorities to us and we have power over animal like we have trained dogs to live with us or train seals to do tricks, we have power over them. so basicly everyone is racist.

 

im right am i not?

 

 

keep it real!!

derry, londonderry, brian ferry, john terry, glass of sheery…..

Imageso today I went to derry for a spot of shappin. And as I was eating my big mac who the fuck sits beside me but MR GAY NORTHERN IRELAND. His real names daniel or something. Now to most homosexuals this would be an excellent opportunity to cottage or whatever, but I dont like him. Used to have him as a facebook official friend, but he’s boring as fuck and has bug eyes, and always has statues up like ‘im sooo board, someone come play with me’ like LBFR FO!!!!!! he also has really barf blue hair now, probs cause he’s feeling lonely and meloncolic, WHATEVER!!! 

 

Following this I nearly had a corinory in primark cause im pretty sure i seen cathy from mrs browns boys, but not sure, so stalked her for a while though the padded bra section ( btdubstep thats the only bra primark offers,  must be popular with the gragqueens). Still now sure if it was her or not, and she diddnt respond to me talking lodly about kathy this and mrs brown that, so who knows, we will just leave it that it was her, and celebritys stalk me cause im a fabulous socialite!!!!

 

 

 

later i went to keyside derry cause i head the toliets where pinefresh and that derry was good craic like. Following this I discovered it was actually spelt quay side not keyside. #HDF

Image

 

KEEP IT REAL!!!

Coming out… AGAIN

As many of my friends will tell you I have been under the impression that my family knew that I was gay. As in ive told my brother and I thought it was obvious to my parents when they say such things as ‘ Omg u got a placement at the body shop, the gay man inside you will just explode out’. Statments like this naturally leed to the conclusion that yes you are gay, and yes we know and are cool with it.

 

HOWEVER, today my mother presented me with a ‘boys own’ condon, which is obously for gay men, and one which I got free at kremlin one night. I thought nothing of it and just laughed. However an hour later my mum comes in shaking and asked. ‘Eoghan,…. are you gay?’

 

Of course I was shocked at such a question, having thinking she knew, and naturally i laughed and was like YES. Mum however was not laughing but now crying uncontrolabley. Like WTF. I told her Ive always been gay, and always known. She hugged me and told me it was fine and she loved me etc. which was fine. However following this said that the gay life is a hard life and she doesnt want me getting aids…

She deffos showed her age with this statement. I don’t think I have a hard life and these days gays with aids yes it happens but come one. LBFR.

 

So I guess thats that anyway, im gay they now know for deffinate lol

 

When I think on it My outting was such a cliché, how many times have u heard this story before like, and what still baffles me is that its a shock to parents even to children who are so obviously flaming fruits!!!!

 

 

Keep it real !!!

 

 

dick pic? honey

do i really need to exicute the fine details of what a dick pic is to y’all. Thought not whores. Anyway having never actually sent a dick pic i have been on the reseving end of many shall we say.

 

We live in a day and age where gays and ever lezzer are seen as equals. Yet diving into their world they are as repressed as ever, sexually that is. 

 

wE r now at a stage where a simple hello to some guys means, ER MER GERD heres my dick!!! 

 

like lbfr i just said hello.

 

Suffice to say it was like a naked mole rats baby and nothing to be proud of.

 

Keep it real!

HEAD

So when casually discussing head one day i was bewilderd to hear that my friends do not consider a man giving a girl oral was considered head. To this day I still cannot get my ‘head’ around their way of thinking ( exuse the pun) (oj it was punny). Their argument was that a girl or man can only give a man head cause of the head of the penis etc etc. But think about it, in the case of a blow job a girl isnt said to be reseving head she is said to be giving head, therefore she is giving head therefore a man is giving head when he going down your town.

 

I hope this opens not only my friends but the world to my logical way of thinking.

 

Keep it real